Kyle calls me again, I thought his name was Jim so I tell him that and he thinks I'm playing with him. We met on a phone sex line, got off over the phone one night and since then he calls me about once a week asking if I want to get together. When I told him I lived in Williamsburg, he said his favorite restaurant was Peter Luger's Steakhouse, which made me want to vomit. I could almost smell him, rancid cow blood oozing from his pores.

Kyle has this fantasy, wants me to come over and find him naked and blindfolded, piss in his mouth and then fuck him. He's never drank piss and he's never been fucked, at least that's what he says. Kyle calls to chat for a few minutes, then starts talking about his fantasy until I get into it, today I'm in the bathroom and somehow he's got me ridiculously hard--it's his voice, kinda butch but sexier. Kyle wants me to go right over but I need to buy paint.

Kyle says what would it take to get you over here in twenty minutes and I say money, but that's not his fantasy so he ignores me. He wants me to tell him what else I'll do to him, but I don't have any ideas. Actually, I'm thinking about getting on my knees and sucking Kyle's dick, but I don't think that fits in with his plan.

Finally, I tell Kyle I'll come over at 6:30, but I've got to meet a friend for dinner at seven. Then I go out with Jon to get paint and it's sort of warm out, maybe spring's really arriving. After a few blocks, though, I can feel the soot and the dust clogging my lungs, my eyes dry out and I talk about moving away from New York. Gotta get some fucking air.

Jon runs off with three gallons of paint so he can do some work at home, and I go to the hardware store to copy keys. The hardware store smells like the inside of a gas tank, I keep picturing myself passed out on the floor with blood all over like Julianne Moore in "Safe," before she was famous. Though she passed out at a dry cleaners, so her clothes weren't ruined.

Finally the keys are ready and I go home, meditate so I don't pass out, eat, and then run out to meet Kyle. Kyle lives at Irving Plaza, which is this monstrosity of modern condos, organized like a maze. I get to his room and sure enough the door's open and he's naked on the bed with a blindfold and a baseball cap. I say hey, take my jacket off and straddle him, start to pull out my dick.

Kyle says what are you doing and I laugh, what does he think I'm doing? Then he says kiss me, so I kiss him and his whole body's shaking, he says hold me so I hold him and he's still shaking, I say are you okay? He says I'm a little nervous. I'm holding him and he says am I like I said, and I think no you're skinny and out of shape, but I say sure. He said he had a swimmer's build, went to the gym five days a week, but I guess swimmer's build could mean anything and he could go to the gym for five minutes a day.

I'm holding Kyle and it feels nice, and then he's hard, he says let me look at you for just a second, just a peek and he pulls the blindfold down but I push it up. He says you're cute, and then I slide my dick into his mouth, I say you want me to piss in your mouth, but I'm already hard. I start fucking his face, then pull my dick out and he says what do you want? I put my dick back in his mouth, turn the baseball cap around and see that the middle of his head is all bald but I don't say anything. I say I'm too hard now to piss and he says what do you really want?

I want to leave soon, because I'm going to be late to meet Laurie, but I move down until my dick's between Kyle's legs; he starts to hypervertilate, shaking again and he says hold me. I hold him and he's shaking, he says I'm so nervous and turned on, kiss me, and I kiss him, he says give me your tongue. My tongue goes all the way into his mouth and it feels good with Kyle sucking. I look down at Kyle's dick, hard, grab his balls and put his dick in my mouth. Up and down four times and Kyle's still shaking, then I can feel him starting to shoot so I move my mouth away, Kyle comes and a drop gets on my sweater, I wipe off the come and go to the bathroom to use Kyle's mouthwash and to piss.

Kyle says oh now you've gotta piss. I go back out and say it was cute when you were shaking, kiss him on the lips and say bye. I get downstairs and it's 6:59, I'll be seven minutes late. I'm all energetic for the first time today, like holding Kyle lifted something out of me. Get to Angelica's Kitchen and there's Laurie, figure I'm making a glamorous entrance because I can feel my whole body in alignment and Laurie's laughing.

There are at least fifteen people waiting and Laurie says this reminds me of San Francisco. It's funny to think of it that way, a line in New York reminding you of San Francisco instead of the other way around. We sit outside to wait and it's cold but kind of refreshing.

I tell Laurie about Kyle and she gets confused, thinks Kyle's someone else from the phone line, someone I'm already friends with. Then Laurie thinks maybe I mean Gavin, since Gavin called last night, but Gavin actually works at Angelica's Kitchen in the carry-out area, so we go in to say hi. Gavin asks if we want anything but Laurie's not hungry and I can't make up my mind, so we go back outside and pretty soon it's our turn for a table.

Laurie wants a Dragon Bowl, but I tell her everyone gets a Dragon Bowl, the specials are the best. So Laurie gets one special and I get the other, and Laurie gets sourdough bread even though I tell her it's all about the cornbread. I can't have either, since I'm allergic to wheat and corn again.

We get our food and it's good but something's wrong-it's not amazing. I eat every crumb anyway but Laurie leaves at least half of hers, but it's all wheat so I can't eat any. I complain about not getting any pages, hello am I a whore or what? Then I get a page but it's some flake. Laurie's food is still left, a chunk of green and beige and brown right in the middle of the plate.

Laurie orders dessert and they take her food away. Lemon tofu cheesecake which is incredible-I had two bites of someone's once and it was almost too delicious. I have four bites of Laurie's and here comes my sugar crash, boom I'm shaky. We go outside and it's sleeting, so we get in a cab after waiting ten minutes.

We get to my house and I'm complaining about never getting any business and Laurie's sick of San Francisco and I'm sick of New York. Laurie wants to quit her job and I just want more energy, I want to date people, I want to have physical intimacy. Laurie likes New York and I hate it. Laurie takes a nap and then goes out to a bar.

Finally, at three a.m. I get a trick, and of course I don't want to go but I figure if I take this one then they'll all start calling me. The guy wants to fuck me, but hopefully I'll get out of it. I get to his house and he's coked out of his mind, can't get hard so I just keep sucking his dick, the bristles of his shaved pubic hair scraping my lips.

The trick decides to suck my dick and before you know it he wants to get fucked, and then I'm pounding him and he's loving it. I'm standing up while he's bent over on the bed, but I'm worried I'm going to slip on the waxed floor, so I lean onto him, and he says yeah fuck that ass yeah I want your load yeah and I'm kinda close to coming, usually I'd stop myself but the trick's saying I wanna see that load, so I figure why not let it out.

Actually I'm picturing him inspecting the condom for sperm, he seems like the type. I'm fucking him harder and I can feel my orgasm starting even before I come, then after I shoot I still feel like I'm coming. Sometimes it just happens like that, I don't know how.

This trick's one of those guys who wants the full hour, so then I'm sucking his dick again and he's starting to get hard. Tells me he sees this guy Joey regularly and would I want to fuck Joey while he fucks me. I say sure, then it's time for me to go but the trick wants to fuck me now, I tell him not after I just came. Then he wants to get to know me, wants to know my real name. I tell him and he writes it down-why not if it'll make him call me back.

I figure this guy's going to tip, he had the money out from the beginning but now he wants to know if I have a ten for change. Cheap piece of shit. I just say no. Finally he gives me the one-sixty and says I'll owe him ten. Owe him ten, my ass.

 

©2002 Matt Bernstein Sycamore - Contributor's Bio